Love Sparkles

I live to express, not to impress.

Y e s P l e a s e: amigos, familia, Tumblr, Harry Potter!, romantic movies, feathers, dream catchers, Paris, stars, dressing up, dressing down, bummy days, exciting days, Six Flags, piano, music, red nailpolish, texting, cute socks, cute people, purple bunny, Peter Pan, glow in the dark, summertime, dancing, running, reading, perfume, drawing, babies, laughing,sleeping, conversation, film nights, ℒℴѵℯ. ♥

N o T h a n k s: liars, negative nancys, being broke, papercuts, people that leave, people that lie about never leaving, fake friends, people that use me, not being able to see my family in mexico, being stressed, procrastination, heartbreak

Ask me anything

Text One good thing has come from my broken heart.

I have fully experienced the complete range of human emotions. I have traversed through agony, guilt, anger, betrayal, surprise, spite, sadness, emptiness, apathy, relief, acceptance, melancholy, and nostalgia. Every day brings a new map that I try to follow to reach forgiveness and progress but all I meet are wrong turns and dead ends. I’m caught in a whirlwind of memories and pain that I can’t escape. It clouds my judgement but somehow gives me new eyes for the world. The one person, apart from my family members, that I trusted with everything I had deceived me in the worst possible way that anyone could. I now question everyone and everything. I thought I knew everything about this human being. He was an open book and I was his most avid reader. It turns out that I had to read between the lines if I had really wanted to know who he was. I have not come to hate the world or the people in it, because I know that there are people who are truly good, but I have become more wary of everyone I meet.

I used to be so different before I met him four years ago. I was a quiet do gooder that never wanted to step over the line and do anything risky. Then he came into the picture and I changed for him. I didn’t change for the worst neccessarily. I’m just different now. I’ve become someone who I barely understand. These four years were a constant struggle of wanting to change to make him happy and still retaining my values and dreams. But for him, anything. I always thought this way.
Now that he is out of my life the only solace I have found is to learn new things and do new things that he will never know about. I will rebuild myself as myself and change for no one. No one has any right to determine my future for me. I alone can decide where I’m going.
It’s a struggle every day to not hear the sound of his voice and to wonder what he’s doing at this very moment. Then I remind myself that the man I fell in love with is not the man that broke my heart and left behind a broken shell of who I used to be. I’m slowly fixing myself. I’m repairing every crack that he left over the years. It’ll take a long time to be okay again, but I’m going to keep going because I know I will be okay someday.
Thanks for nothing.
I hope you find what you’re looking for.